Underwater.

I never knew I would be able to dance Salsa, and be successful at a few humble flips, but I especially never thought I would be able to swim. The desire came from a TV special I saw when I was on my late 20s, I guess. There was a woman who had just turned 40. She had started swimming for medical reasons, and in short time she became a great swimmer. She lost weight and kept high self esteem among many other benefits. However, it was only a thought kept distant, on the back of my mind. When my daughter- my treasure- came, swimming was a good option to keep her healthy and active. Looking at her while she learned;while she made progress, step by step made me feel happy and light, but I never thought I would be there with her one day. Then he came. Everythihg changed. My world changed. When I thought I had loved enough,and all the portion my life had spared for me, he came. Love then became something humongous, indescribable and unmeasurable. Nothing in the universe, except the universe itself could give an idea of how much love I felt for him with my whole being.
When I am underwater now, and she dives on her back under me with her eyes open looking into mine, I imagine he is coming right after her. They switch places, and then it is his eyes that look into mine underwater. These dreams make me feel alive. Make me want to go on, and bring me hope.

Love is a dictatorship.

This is an obvious conclusion that finally came to my mind. I just arrived from a wonderful night. I was among wonderful friends. I danced. I saw new people. I felt my body lighter while I managed to follow the beat and the lead of the leaders. I saw eyes looking at me with interest. I saw prospective partners in more than just Salsa, but it seems that this dictatorship that rules people's destiny- love- simply denies me the chance to chose whoever chooses me, and keeps punishing me with loneliness, and dreams that do not fulfill my needs.